The Wind in My Sails….

is gone.  But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

In the days of sailing ships, crews could be stranded for days or weeks on end with no wind for their sails.  Areas of the sea near the equator were most likely to be without wind for endless days.  Sailors called the windless days “the doldrums,” and legends abound of sailors being driven mad by the sensory deprivation of endless calm seas which offered no visual, tactile, or auditory relief from the seas blending into the horizon.

The doldrums, however, can be a good place to rest from constant motion and threats of storms, fickle winds, and ocean swells.  They provide time to mend the sails and nets, touch up the varnish, refill the fish barrels, wash and mend clothing, and finish any number of chores for preservation and renewal of ship and crew.  And it when the chores are done, there is time and energy left for recreation.  A welcomed break.  A “staycation” of sorts.

So while my adrenal glad is providing insufficient “wind in my sails,” I am experiencing a sort of sensory deprivation…limiting social contacts and avoiding both good and bad stress whenever possible. Some folks might think that my withdrawal is symptomatic of depression.  But they’d be wrong.  Mostly I’m trying to avoid having to stress dose so my adrenal function has time to improve.  Life is good.  I am quite happy.  I am simply resting and relaxing as much as possible.  Giving my body some healing time away from the demands of an active sea. 

I am certainly not avoiding life.  These past months have been house-hunting months.  But I’ve spent a lot of time at home, quietly searching the Internet for homes and only venturing out to view the ones our realtors have pre-screened for us—a half dozen or so.  This week, we put a house under contract.  If all goes as planned, we will be moved by the middle of October.  We’ll delegate and hire out as much of the move as possible.  I’m sure life will be much busier after that with all of our grandchildren only minutes away.

After the storms and rough waters of Cushing’s Syndrome, I could get used to living on the calm waters of the doldrums.  Still, humans need some stress in their lives.

If only to avoid the madness…..